2004-02-27 - 4:41 p.m.

A complete stranger sent me two five pound notes in an envelope yesterday. This isn't all that unusual, as I do sell stuff on ebay, but aside from the return address they enclosed, I've absolutely no idea what it is I'm supposed to be sending them.

They did enclose a very nice note apologising for having taken so long to pay, but they never mentioned what the item they won was or left any user name or email address details or any clues other than their return address.

So what to do? A quick search of items I've sold in the past 30 days didn't reveal any non-payers, so I can only assume this mysterious buyer must be paying for something from the dim & distant past that they've suddenly felt compelled to pay for. The way I see it, I've got three options:

1, Send their money back through the post (always a risky strategy this) with a note explaining that my psychic powers don't quite extend as far as knowing what item someone's buying just by the appearance of two fivers in an envelope.

2, Keep the money and run off to Brazil - probably not worth the hassle really. If you're planning to start a life of crime it's probably best to deal with slightly higher figures.

3, Send them a random item to the value of �10, i.e. A bag of shopping, a mobile phone top-up card, 5 litres of anti-freeze or a signed CD box set of Peter Andre's Greatest Hits (plus a free tenner obviously).

Whatever, it's a hassle, and as seasoned ebay sellers will know, not all that unusual. Why people can't just state the name of the bloody item they've won when sending payment I shall never know! It's hardly rocket science after all. (unless they're enclosing payment for some sort of rocket science training course)

On a less narky note, 15 Storeys High was as great as ever last night. Now Sean Lock, there's someone who really does know how to rant with style...

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